300 Who's seen it?

Alluveal · Post by **Alluveal** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 2:40 pm

Tell me! I'm going Monday. I need my fix until then. Someone go watch it and report back. It's gotten awesome reviews so far.

Kulaf · Post by **Kulaf** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 3:56 pm

Going on Sunday.

-=Xilanthanax=- · Post by **-=Xilanthanax=-** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 4:41 pm

I'm going tomorrow after I get off work. If no one has reported by then, I'll come post.

Turaylon Soulshadow · Post by **Turaylon Soulshadow** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 4:43 pm

Friend just saw it, said it was pretty good. No real details on it though, just that he enjoyed it.

Harlowe · Post by **Harlowe** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 4:49 pm

I was thinking about going this weekend. They are showing it at the IMAX here as well as the regular theater, but that's just too damn big.

Bahd Zoolander · Post by **Bahd Zoolander** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 11:05 pm

Harlowe wrote:that's just too damn big.

That's what all the ladies say.

Select · Post by **Select** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 11:12 pm

...to the Spartans.

Turaylon Soulshadow · Post by **Turaylon Soulshadow** » Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:04 am

Bahd Zoolander wrote:
Harlowe wrote:that's just too damn big.
That's what all the ladies say.

I bet that's the first time Harlowe has ever said that

-=Xilanthanax=- · Post by **-=Xilanthanax=-** » Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:36 pm

All I'm going to say is: it was fucking awesome. The score is fantastic, the lithographic feel of the film work with the blood animation was equally as good as the sin city art, and the dialogue / fight scenes were incredible.

That's all. Maybe I'll post more when I have time.

Trollbait · Post by **Trollbait** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 9:32 am

Fantastic!

That is all

Braddox · Post by **Braddox** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:29 pm

Best review of 300 I've seen yet.

From Aint it Cool:
"I just saw a movie that'll give your eyes boners, make your balls scream and make you poop DVD copies of THE TRANSPORTER. It's called 300. I don't know what the title has to do with the movie, but they could've called it KITTENS MAKING CANDLES and it'd still rule.

It's about these 300 Greek dudes who stomp the sugar-coated shit out of like a million other dudes. I have a feeling that a lot of high school sports coaches are going to show this film to their teams before they play. Also, gay dudes and divorced women are going to use screen captures for computer wallpaper.

The movie takes place about a million years ago, and it's sort of like a prequel to SIN CITY. Except way less guns and cars but twice as much skull splitting. If you watch this movie and go into a Taco Bell, and say to the cashier, "I need some extra sauce packets" guess what? You're getting twenty sauce packets because your face will punch him in the brain.

I can't spoil the plot because THANK GOD THERE ISN'T ONE. Just ass kicking that kicks ass that, while said ass is getting kicked, is kicking yet more ass that's hitting someone's balls with a hammer made of ice but the ice is frozen whiskey.

TWO COOL THINGS ABOUT THE MOVIE AND ONE THING I DIDN'T LIKE:

COOL THING ONE: HEAVY METAL DURING BATTLE SCENES

Who gives a shit if the music isn't historically correct? LORD OF THE RINGS could've used some Journey. This movie has that chu-CHUNG kind of metal that you hear in your head when your shift supervisor at Wetzel's Pretzel is telling you that you'll have to stay for clean up and you wish you had a sock filled with quarters in your hand.

COOL THING TWO: FOES, MINI-BOSSES AND A BIG BOSS

Basically, the Greek dudes are fighting these Persian dudes, but the director, who must have a dick made of three machine guns, does it all like a video game. The Greeks fight every death metal video from the last ten years. There's wave after wave of giants, freaks, ninjas, mutants, wizards, and a hunchback who looks like he's got Rosie O'Donnell on his back.

Would I have been happy if Dom DeLuise from HISTORY OF THE WORLD, PART I had shown up? Maybe, but this movie more than makes up for that glaring oversight.

NOT SO GOOD THING: DUDE NUDITY ("DUDE-ITY")

These are Greek times, when there were a lot of naked women around. And there are some naked women in this film, but almost every naked woman scene has a muscular dude giving the screen an ass picnic. Dude-ity is something directors put in their movies so people will think they're serious, I guess, and not just throwing in naked hotties.

Any directors reading this â€“ IT'S OKAY TO JUST THROW IN NAKED HOTTIES.

Can't someone make a movie about naked Amazons and call it PAUSE BUTTON?

My final analysis is 300 the most ass-ruling movie I've seen this year, and will probably be the King of 2007 unless someone makes a movie where a pair of sentient boobs fights a werewolf."

Turaylon Soulshadow · Post by **Turaylon Soulshadow** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:47 pm

Braddox wrote:Best review of 300 I've seen yet.

From Aint it Cool:
"I just saw a movie that'll give your eyes boners, make your balls scream and make you poop DVD copies of THE TRANSPORTER. It's called 300. I don't know what the title has to do with the movie, but they could've called it KITTENS MAKING CANDLES and it'd still rule.

It's about these 300 Greek dudes who stomp the sugar-coated shit out of like a million other dudes. I have a feeling that a lot of high school sports coaches are going to show this film to their teams before they play. Also, gay dudes and divorced women are going to use screen captures for computer wallpaper.

The movie takes place about a million years ago, and it's sort of like a prequel to SIN CITY. Except way less guns and cars but twice as much skull splitting. If you watch this movie and go into a Taco Bell, and say to the cashier, "I need some extra sauce packets" guess what? You're getting twenty sauce packets because your face will punch him in the brain.

I can't spoil the plot because THANK GOD THERE ISN'T ONE. Just ass kicking that kicks ass that, while said ass is getting kicked, is kicking yet more ass that's hitting someone's balls with a hammer made of ice but the ice is frozen whiskey.

TWO COOL THINGS ABOUT THE MOVIE AND ONE THING I DIDN'T LIKE:

COOL THING ONE: HEAVY METAL DURING BATTLE SCENES

Who gives a shit if the music isn't historically correct? LORD OF THE RINGS could've used some Journey. This movie has that chu-CHUNG kind of metal that you hear in your head when your shift supervisor at Wetzel's Pretzel is telling you that you'll have to stay for clean up and you wish you had a sock filled with quarters in your hand.

COOL THING TWO: FOES, MINI-BOSSES AND A BIG BOSS

Basically, the Greek dudes are fighting these Persian dudes, but the director, who must have a dick made of three machine guns, does it all like a video game. The Greeks fight every death metal video from the last ten years. There's wave after wave of giants, freaks, ninjas, mutants, wizards, and a hunchback who looks like he's got Rosie O'Donnell on his back.

Would I have been happy if Dom DeLuise from HISTORY OF THE WORLD, PART I had shown up? Maybe, but this movie more than makes up for that glaring oversight.

NOT SO GOOD THING: DUDE NUDITY ("DUDE-ITY")

These are Greek times, when there were a lot of naked women around. And there are some naked women in this film, but almost every naked woman scene has a muscular dude giving the screen an ass picnic. Dude-ity is something directors put in their movies so people will think they're serious, I guess, and not just throwing in naked hotties.

Any directors reading this â€“ IT'S OKAY TO JUST THROW IN NAKED HOTTIES.

Can't someone make a movie about naked Amazons and call it PAUSE BUTTON?

My final analysis is 300 the most ass-ruling movie I've seen this year, and will probably be the King of 2007 unless someone makes a movie where a pair of sentient boobs fights a werewolf."

The person who wrote that is either retarded or 12...

Braddox · Post by **Braddox** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 2:00 pm

I found it funny personally, which I think was the author's intent. As I can't imagine anyone being serious while mentioning ice hammers made of frozen whiskey smashing someone in the groin and sentinent boobs fighting werewolves.

Harlowe · Post by **Harlowe** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 2:53 pm

Braddox wrote:I found it funny personally, which I think was the author's intent. As I can't imagine anyone being serious while mentioning ice hammers made of frozen whiskey smashing someone in the groin and sentinent boobs fighting werewolves.

If a person made it all the way to the "sentient boobs" part and didn't realize they were reading satire.....that would make them denser than the Congo basin.

Turaylon Soulshadow · Post by **Turaylon Soulshadow** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 2:53 pm

Braddox wrote:I found it funny personally, which I think was the author's intent. As I can't imagine anyone being serious while mentioning ice hammers made of frozen whiskey smashing someone in the groin and sentinent boobs fighting werewolves.

I wish I had a whiskey ice hammer...

JamiesanTGrauerwolf · Tue Mar 13, 2007 10:57 am

Saw it Saturday night. Thoroughly enjoyed it.

I wanna see Sentient Boobs. I don't care if they fight werewolves or not.

Select · Post by **Select** » Tue Mar 13, 2007 11:52 am

IT'S OKAY TO JUST THROW IN NAKED HOTTIES.

= dudes.

Bad author for his biased opinions.

Zyllen · Post by **Zyllen** » Tue Mar 13, 2007 12:13 pm

Select wrote:Bad author for his biased opinions.

It's not a fucking biased opinion.

Even women have got to agree that the naked female form is hundreds of times easier to look at than the naked male form. I'm not talking arousal here or anything, but women's bodies are just nicer than men's.

Harlowe · Post by **Harlowe** » Tue Mar 13, 2007 2:30 pm

Depends on the body. 300 is a perfect example of just how easy a guy's body is on the eyes as well.

I think they are equal all things considered.

Select · Post by **Select** » Tue Mar 13, 2007 3:03 pm

Rofl. Zyllen missed my joke with the biased part.